Top, middle or bottom?

We thought we were smart alecks by opting for Apkim’s one-day marriage prep course, just so we’d have time for bloc party that never came. But not only did we forked out more money to have it conducted in English, the class was so dauntingly personalised that it was just us and the uztazs – isolated in a room from 9-6 before we’d be licensed to wed.

I find that. People generally see such courses as a piece of paper that’ll legitimise holy matrimony – a let’s get it done and over with.

Apkim’s approach altered my perception of such courses, and marriage.

They reminded me there’s more than one window to peer into – a marriage involves the union of families rather than two people in love. We learnt more about ourselves, the personalities manifested when we’re with the significant and why there exists differences between the two.

The case studies, which came from the man who heads the Syariah’s mediation dept, were quite striking. One of which:

The Towel and Toothpaste case
A woman asked for a divorce because the husband 1. Repeatedly placed wet towels on the bed and 2. Repeatedly squeezed the toothpaste from the bottom instead of her preferred middle.

What the?! The point is the husband never listens. If one can’t listen to the smaller things, it’s safe to doubt whether he’ll listen to the bigger things.

I guess saying I do goes beyond wearing the coveted Vera Wang gown or having a man bend down with a 6-digit rock. You’re not only saying yes to love, you’re also saying yes to a lot of things you don’t really know you’re saying yes to.

I’ll find out soon.