Try this

Naturally, and with much excuse, the stacks of barokes at 7-11 sparked my love affair with red wine.

In fact I should post up pictures of us picnicking at the botans just yesterday, before we rushed off for The Cure. All you need really is to lug out some glasses, a trusty tikar, a 2005 red and MOS burgers and plomp your arses opposite Swan Lake for some great Kodak moments away from the great sale just blinks away. The verdantness, crispy grass, Japanese tourists antics, frisbees and space made for golekking made it so much easier to just zen out.

Anyway, red wine - as I recently discovered - is no longer isolated for internal consumption. For a dicounted price, you can grab off a red wine masque at Watson's. Faced with no overwhelming objections, I bought one but as I stood in front of my mirror trying to decipher whether the instructions are in Korean or Japanese, it didn't feel like that fantastic an idea anymore. What if?

1. What if the masque has the ability to empower women to mistakenly mount, perhaps for several times in a night, an ugly, fat or acne-ridden mate? And then wake up in dumpshite of a place?

2. What if the masque makes you call all your merciless exes and say, "You had a dick the size of a pea anyway!"

3. What if it has the ability to make people climb podiums, dance till the pits all sweat and then rip his own pants as he hops off? (Nah, only Ery is, am still capable of such stunts)

4. What if excessive usage turns me into an addict?

(Fish: Hi everyone, my name is Fish. And I'm an alcoholic. Anonymous: Hi Fish. That's awful. Well, at least you have really good skin.)

But life is about not giving a fuck about the what ifs and you just gotta take a bit of risk the same way I cross streets when it's blinking "3", how I still consume Maggi noodles in unhealthy doses despite knowing how it prematurely balds people or how I'd go out with just one bar of batt on my mobile. Oooh... I'm definitely what people would term as living on the ledge.

Well, I've jumped and am still waiting to turn into a vision of stupendous beauty.

It should be anytime now.